This past Sunday, Jim and I headed down to the Oaks Fellowship in Red Oak to attend their college age group's event called Second Sunday. The Gat (as this group is called) and the Oaks are some serious supporters of Ride:Well, so they definitely have some love from this gal.
Aaron Smith, the founder of Venture Expeditions spoke about starting the organization, things God has done in the last few years since it's starting, and the sacrifices that came along with putting faith behind what God had called him to do with Venture.
After he spoke, Aaron, the young adults pastor gave a message (which I for one REALLY needed) about Jacob and the character flaws he possessed. About when he wrestled with the angel of God and the angel asked him his name, there were so many negative attachments that came along with it...
Deciever...Liar...and someone who constantly made decisions to put himself first.
Aaron challenged everyone to look at themselves to see what those character flaws were in us. Some were obvious in me.
Fear...Doubt...Cynisism...
But last night, I was faced with one that I hadn't seen as clearly.
Last night I was in my first car accident. I rear-ended a teenage kid who was driving his mom's Chevy Tahoe. For the record, neither one of us were speeding. We were both coming to a stop at a red light. My not-so-tractful tires and a light rain proved to be enough to not let my brakes do their job. We are both OK though.
But one thing that I'm really seeing in myself after-the-fact, is how easy it is for me to extend grace to others, but RARELY ever to myself. I put so much blame on myself while I was standing there in the rain examining the damage waiting for the police officer to come out to examine the damage. Even today, I think I've apologized about 10 times for what happened.
I know, I know...it's an Accident.
But, for some reason, in my heart and my mind, I thought I was maybe exempt? I don't know.
Maybe this happened as a teaching tool of how often I do this to myself. Maybe this is some way of me learning my character flaws so I can change the negative things and become what it is I'm supposed to be instead.
So, here it is...here I am letting some vulnerability take place for a second.
I'm Melissa. I'm afraid of disappointing people. I doubt myself more often than not. I'm cynical about silly things, and I find it easy to give grace to others while denying myself of it.
I'm working on being: Confident in my abilities and talents despite others' opinions. Encouraging and positive about everything (even myself!), and giving myself grace...Grace. Grace. Grace.
How about you? What are some character flaws that you have? What do you want to change to make yourself the person you want to be?
