To be honest, I've been considering writing this for a couple weeks now and I haven't due to the fear I have of giving someone the wrong impression...mainly to my family and close friends. But thanks to a good friend, (ahem...Katie Ellwood..) I think it would be a good thing to share.
I started this blog last year with the intent to speak my mind, emotions, feelings, all of those things. Well, it's a new year... A new start, and I want to make the most of this blog.
As most of you who read this know, I grew up in the church. Not literally. But I have spent a good chunk of my life in a church.
When I was a kid, I was at church Sunday morning for Sunday School, stuck around for Sunday AM service, Sunday PM service, Wednesday night youth group, and Friday night revival meetings. All of those sprinkled with the occassional prayer meeting, bible study, or youth event.
Whew.
I should add here that I am in no way bitter about being raised like I was. I think that it was great having been raised around some amazing Christian folks. I'm grateful for the friendships, mentors, and lessons that I acquired when I was growing up.
But, I think that regardless if you were "raised in the church" like me or not, I think that everyone at some point steps back and re-evaluates why they believe that they believe...why they do what they do...what drives them....
And for me, that didn't come until recently.
It wasn't a cynical or bitter self-evaluation at all. On the contrary, I needed to step back and look at what it all was for.
Did I have purpose?
Did I feel like my life was meaningful and intentional?
What was I living for? Myself? Others? Both?
Fast forward to 2010.
2010 was really a crazy, exciting, unbelievable year.
And honestly, 2010 was the year that I missed the most church that I have in my whole life.
I don't say this to brag at all. I'm not really proud of it...that's just how it was.
But, I really believe that 2010 taught me more about the heart of God than I think I'd ever known before. Again, not something I'm necessarily proud of...that's just how it was for me personally.
Of these things, I've learned that I don't think God is about full sanctuaries or huge shows or massive productions. And honestly, I've thought up until the last couple years, that the bigger the church event..the fuller the sanctuary..the closer God was.
Ignorance at its finest.
For the record, I don't think those are bad. I think that sometimes those are great tools to show people a glimpse of hope and salvation....
But this year has really taught me that God's heart isn't really about those things.
It's about the widows, the orphans, those that feel alone, slaves, the broken, the hurting, those that need someone to listen..to hear, those that need hope.
And those are the things that I want my heart to be about.
I know that I am not alone in this. That's the beauty of hope.
I want to conclude this (fearfully composed) blog with a verse that meant alot to me this year..
Micah 6:8
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
And that, is one of my New Year's Resolutions for 2011.
How about you? What are you wanting to focus on this year?
